Love is one of the three principle aspects of all Tantric spiritual paths and the principle practice for Western Tantra’s Path of Ethics, but what do we mean by the word Love? People use the word love for many things, including sex (let’s make love), craving (I love lasagna), affection (you don’t show me love), attachment (love binds us), devotion (I love my job), and even zero in tennis. We need to first be clear on the meaning. When Western Tantra uses the word Love capitalized, it means unconditional, universal love for all beings and creation. Love for all with no if-then conditions whatsoever, like: “I will love you if you will love me in return.” Universal, unconditional Love is a state of being, not a transaction.
Why should we want universal, unconditional Love? The answer lies with the goal of Western Tantra to become one with the universe. Western Tantra posits a sentient universe that cares for all of us, the sinners and the just, the rich and the poor, the fit and the disabled, the wise and the foolish, the beautiful and the disfigured, young and old, everyone and everything without exception. In other words, the universe loves all of us unconditionally. If we want to become one with that Loving universe, we too must Love in that way to be compatible.
If you doubt that the universe is Loving, the book Western Tantra shows us how to discover if the universe is conscious and cares about us. To find our Heart center and synchronize our mind with that Loving universe, we use various meditations and tune our minds to this loving totality (see Meditation and Tuning posts). When we let go or surrender to this reality, the boundary or border separating us from Totality dissolves, and we are reborn into this new Loving reality. Real people have had this experience. If you suspend prejudice and ask around, you can find them.
What is the boundary or border that separates us from a Loving Totality? Our Egos create these separations from the rest of the Universe. Babies may be born without Egos, we are not really sure. Psychologists observe that babies initially do not seem to differentiate between themselves and the world they are born into. They may see themselves as one with their mother’s breast for example. But the world brings pain as well as satisfaction and they begin to separate themselves from pain. I want to be part of this, but I don’t want to be part of that. We incorporate what we want and distance ourselves from what we dislike. Boundaries between self and other form. People teach us the difference between us and them. People tell us who we are and who they are, and personality forms. Western Tantra labels the set of behaviors and attitudes that we use to interact with our environment the Ego. People hurt our Ego in many ways. In Buddhism, the Ego is the source of all suffering, the Second Noble Truth. To protect our Ego, we separate it from hurt with a boundary between ourselves and others, a sort of armored shell.
This Ego armor is very useful for protecting us from an often hurtful world and some nasty people who inhabit it. But it is a liability when encountering a loving outer reality. Imagine trying to embrace a lover in a knight’s suit of heavy armor. Or trying to swim in it. Our body was born to be in this world, and if we put it in a bubble, our body does not experience the world as it was designed or evolved (depending on your point of view). Likewise, our Soul was born to be part of the universe and experience it, not be separated from it. So the challenge for us is to know when to don our armor to protect us from harm and when to let it fall to encounter Love. When you Love and find Love, let the Ego armor fall, let it go, surrender to Love and embrace Totality. Can you do this?