Imagine you are standing at the crossroads of eternity holding two flags in your hand. Behind you is the past, stretching fourteen billion years to the Big Bang. In front of you is the future, stretching at least 150 billion years, possibly forever to infinity. From where you stand in the present, pace out the duration of your life so far, on the path you are on. Use one meter or one yard to represent each year of your past life. Plant a flag representing when you were born to this life. Go back to the crossroad and pace out the distance into the future that you think you will live, again at one meter or yard for each year. Place the second flag where you think your present physical body will die.
Go back to the crossroad representing your present. This crossroad is perpendicular to your timeline. Walk along the crossroad to gain perspective on your timeline until you can see both flags, the birth flag and the death flag, without turning your head. If you are optimistic about the duration of your life, note that the distance between the flags is about the length of a football field.
Back up on the crossroad until both flags can be covered by your outstretched thumb. Try to see the Big Bang which is fourteen billion meters or yards to your left. It is so far away you cannot see it. Then try to see the future end of the universe, at least 150 billion meters or yards to your right. You cannot see that far. Compare the length of your lifetime, the distance between the two flags, to the span of time for the universe. It is insignificant.
Reflect on the percentage of time you devote to making that tiny duration between the two flags pleasant versus the time you spend preparing for eternity, the span of time to the right which may be infinite. You now see the disparity in your level of effort. You resolve to worry less about that tiny interval between the flags, your material life, and spend more time on your spiritual practice preparing for eternity. Does this make sense?
Of course it makes sense. But it does not always sufficiently motivate me to determine my behavior. That is my effort: to keep ‘making sense’ determine my behavior more of the time. Strong emotions seem to interfere more often than I would like. And I do not always understand what IS motivating me except in a general sense, like anger or resentment, which doesn’t seem to be sufficient. Any suggestions?
What I think you are saying is that although you are trying to use rational logic to motivate you to do spiritual practice, emotions often interfere. This Renunciation meditation is only intended to show that we should give our spiritual practice a higher priority than trying to make our limited time on earth more pleasant. Other meditations help overcome distracting emotions, especially stillness meditations like breathing and mindfulness. We probably have to force ourselves to meditate at first, because other things are more fun or seem urgent. But as meditation begins to provide us peace of mind, the inner peace that our spiritual practice provides will eventually motivate us–if we persist.